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Monday, January 4th, 2016
11:01 pm
wow its like getting into a time machine and revisiting my past!
I honestly forgot this thing existed and looking back at old posts, its close on 10 years since I bothered to spew my crap into cyberspace. hey, isn't that what bookface is for?
I guess if anything, this thing has lasted all that time without a login and not deleted itself, then it'd probably withstand more years than my actual diary which has also been neglected for quite some time. feel obliged to occasionally record my life and thoughts in some form other than a short "post" for someday if all goes to plan, I shall be old and possibly senile and i'll need a good read as I refuse to get an ipad and i'll be forever losing books wheres the computers I choose to use are generally hard to misplace.
10 years fastforwarded...broke up with jono, met leigh, met dan, played some gigs, fell pregnant to leigh, had jake..leigh was a dick yet I perservered for reasons unknown..fell pregnant again, had ben, introduced dan to sarah..broke up with leigh, had mental breakdown, docs dubbed be bi-polar, lost kids, moved towns..dan marries sarah, I move back, work my arse off, meet Justin, fall pregnant. sarah and dan already pregnant, life is exciting, looking forward to being real grown ups with kids n stuff. dan gets sick and dies...weeks later sarah gives birth to cailin...not long after that, I give birth to link. life is bitter sweet.
...that was the extremely short version of the last 10 years, im sure I missed a few things, but to be honest, the past can go fuck itself. live in the now, the past will drive you insane with regret or longing, or at least if you let it. but still it can be fun to look back on.

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Tuesday, August 7th, 2007
10:37 pm
i want a bigger room
i want to move out
i want a dog
i want another TV


some people, you never can please.

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Sunday, July 8th, 2007
6:57 pm
im an now the most dangerous woman in the pakenham area...friday night just gone my, i did purchase not 1, not 2, not even 3, but 4 singstar games for the playstation. yes!!!! im a rock superstar for sure. working on clearing the street out of all neighbours. mr squishy is so friggen tone deaf it aint even slightly funny.

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Friday, June 15th, 2007
6:31 pm
she didnt kill the chickens.
now she's alseep at my feet.
i finally have a puppy dawg.
little Larna. my kelpie cross ???
who cares, she's gorgeous.

it's so unreal to have something/someone who loves you so much, who depends on you, who is so excited to see you each day...true it's only been 3 days, but i am so in love with this pup o mine.
it's a different kind of love for sure. kind of maternal/best friend. i never thought i'd have a girl dog, but she's a first.
but damn she reminds me of Rusty so much. she makes me remember how awesome he was, and just wish i could go back and remember him as a pup.

....so that was an autosave from the last time i tried thing fandangled thingamabob doohicky.

she DID try to kill the chickens, who are now at Jess the manlovers house around the corner, untill we build some kind of chicken pen. fuckin little bitch. shes still gorgeous tho, Larna that is, and she is still as my feet, only shes kinda tryn to bite them..now shes scratching her ear. myaawww, i luff her so much! even if she was dragging Dog the chicken be the throat yesterday..and the day before, and the day before that too.

hmm, also...
last weekend...
i felt like playin guitar hero..cos its awesome...
i uh,...

i bought a playstation.
...and guitar hero 2.

but to balance it out, im havin a "dress as your favorite nintendo character" theme for my birthday in august, yay! im gonna try to build a varia suit.

anyways, back to kickin guz's arse at guitar hero

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Friday, June 1st, 2007
7:52 pm
jiggi jiggy jag,
they say that prince be a fag...

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Tuesday, April 17th, 2007
8:16 pm
ahh, silence at last. a rareiety these days indeed. jono's out at ninja, shona's still at work, guz is presumabley somewhere between here and the city, and all frequent randoms are else where.
so tarz is alone cookin a stew with a sweet white in hand, enigma playin in the back ground, feeling very cosy and domesticated.
it's nice not having to interact with any one sometimes.

off note a bit, i have a rope burn on the back of my hand that looks like a festy vagina.

my camera broke.

i went to a rave.

painted for the second mabey 3rd time this year.

finally paid the phone bill...

...telstra are cunts.

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Thursday, November 30th, 2006
3:37 am
im finally back on line. not that im addicted to the internet or anything, i just like to have it, and now i do. ah the convenience of net banking, how ive missed thee.
so, in short, living indipendantly fucking rules. no parentals to tell you what to do or keep it down in there or scorn you for being late for dinner. aand i can rollerblade around the house whenever i want, which is most of the time.
the only down side is that dad keeps calling me and coming aroun n shit like that. hes driving me mental. at least at mums he never came around or rang the house phone in fear that he might have to talk to john.
oooh, and no more of johns mood swings! or having to be quiet all day so he can sleep after night shifts...which reminds me, im not making any noise right now...*makes noise*

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Thursday, November 2nd, 2006
10:26 pm
i'm trying so hard not to make a really loud song and dance about it cos john just went to bed, but its fuckin hard i tellsya.
37 minutes till we can go pick up the keys, shonas on her way over now, and jonos still in bed.
this is torturous!!
i cant even play nintendo to pass the time cos its all packed up!
there was so much nintendo to pack up, and the craziest part was that i didnt even pack all the nintendo cos i lent jayde my super and all my games and the bazooka gun too. i wouldvt needed a fridge box to fit it all in.
last day of school today too. oh deary me. assessment on wednesday, end of year exhibition next friday. this week is gonna be crazy
im fuckin stoked

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Thursday, October 26th, 2006
11:38 pm
im having the shittiest day ive had in yonkers, and its all revolving around thsi here computer in conjunction with goblins.
yesterday, went to school from jonos, found out we didnt actually have a class. found out also that assignment was due. k, cool, thats done. wnt home to print it up, and put some files on my memory stick thing so i could work on our exhibition invites at school, show trouty etc before i send em off to be printed. cool.
get back to school, havd in assignment, go through the print out of the invite i did with trouty. change this do that bla bla bla, ok sweet, i have the files here i'll finish em up and show u later.
on the way to school i checked my bag while driving just to see if i remembered it, it was there, sweet.
get to school, go to take itouta my bag. all thats in there is its little lid thing and the cord it hangs from. i let out an almighty FUCK! and disrupt the photography class. not fucking there. podder around for a bit, go over to dads. from there, go to work. get home, look for stick, it aint there. fuck. it aint anywhere. i had it yesterday at approx 12.15pm at this computer. i even did the whole, safely remove from drinve thing, and from there i swear i put it in its cap thing and then into my bag, otherwise it would be just sitting here on the desk right? no.
so jump to plan B. burn the files to disk, oh wait, my burner decided to fuck up. cant do that either. Fuck. so now im trying to email it to myself so i can work on it at school. no that aint workin either. files too big and i cant be fucked with it anymore. its taken about 20minutes just to attatch one file. fuck that...
On to C. just do it here, print it and take it in. if he asks me to change anything else, hes gonna cop a hard and fast slap across his bulbuss forehead.
so anyways, my logic denotes that the golbins have stolen my memroy stick, just to piss me right off, and its fuckin worked brilliantly.
what a way to start the day
on a lighter note, 7 days till moving day. im packing ll my shit up this weekend. yaay!!

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11:20 pm
i just did perhaps the nastiest thing i've ever done to someone in my life a little while ago. however considering what nasty is, i guess it's not that nasty but its nasty for me and i don't feel bad one little bit. bwahaha...
aaanyways, what i did right, was send a nasty message to shonas x-boyfriend, on behalf of him being a cheating cunt, more so a cunt.
quick run down of the story...shona came home unexpectantly one day and basically caught him in her bed with another chick, a chick that she and he both worked with. chick panicked and ran and hid, shona tried to get inside, he went nuts and started pushing her around, slammed the door etc. she jumped the fence to try n get in the back door, he came stormin out pushin n shovin and chockin etc. shona ended up slamming her head into a brick wall blood everywhere and left with a scar on her forhead.
weeks late, he comes over to see her and decides he wants crazy cheat again sex, afterwhich he balled his eyes out.
weeks later again, more so the other day, shona rings him to ask him to be home on friday cos shes having his electricity cut off which is in her name still, which he also has money oweing on.
he sends her back an abusive message telling her not to come around ra ra ra your a cunt etc, you come around here ever and i'll call the police on you..
heres what i had to say to him
"gday isacc. not one to get involved in other peoples dramas but i just wanted to let you know that i think your a jerk and im glad shona caught you cheatin on her red handed cos she deserves better than a cunt like you. have a nice life, from tara".
I'm just waiting for him to grow some balls and call me back cos that was the toned down version of what i really want to say.

im so fucking sick of people being cunts.

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Monday, October 23rd, 2006
8:47 pm
cainen along with my art stuff at the moment, at least it feels like i am.
just finished my folio slideshow thingy doo da for my business class. the hardest part was choosin a song to play in the back ground. in the end i went for some good old apocolyptica, the path volume 2.
did the design for the invites for our end of year exhibition, yay! got a quote for them to be printed. just gotta wait for the approval of my peers. if they say they reckon its crap then they can go fuck themselves hard in the arse. trouty especially.
also did an oral presentation today which i think i romped. im pretty good at spinnin shit when i have to, and this time i had notes so i had a lotta crap to work with.
hrmm, what else. almost completely finished a painting which is gonna go in our exhibition, almost finished my big arse self portrait.
all i gotta do now is a lot more. damnit!
ooh, and i even applied for uni last week. gotta follow up on some more shit for that but heres hopin i can continue on with the whole student life thing.
not sure how bein a student will go next year givin that im moving out in 2 weeks, woot!!! but at least i wont have mum on my back doin the whole mum thing all the time.
"shouldnt you be working? tara, you really need to take life more seriously. can you pleease clean up this mess? ra ra ra, bla bla this n that"
dont get me wrong, i adore mi mumsy, but i dont think she believes that i can be a responsible and capable human most of the time. pfft! wot eva! talk to da hand man

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Friday, October 20th, 2006
5:23 am
this is a very killer whale time of night to be still awake..not quite morning, not quite still night. nothing but religious tv, telemarketing and some news shows. the best thing on tv right now is that show they put on sbs when they cant be fuckd filling in the programing...FISHCAM. its like watching a real fish tank, but on your tv screen.
kicked some arse on soul calliber 2 and got some new shit. stoked. but its way too cold in the garage right now to keep playing. raining too.
once again, if all goes toplan, then next weekend should be my last weekend at home.
fuck its cold! 2 days ago i was in the front yard wearing hotpants complaining bout getting sunburnt. gotta love melbourne for its irradic variety of weather, but dman im cold.
gotta stay awake for another hour. jonos sposed to be coming over. thats if he finishes work when he sed he reckons he might. if its any later then this might be a struggle. at least i still have pepsi max.

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Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
8:01 am
im sooo tired. its 6pm and im falling asleep. if it werent for my new found fetish for red meat, id be in bed right now.
so...we got the house. moving out in a matter of weeks. providing all goes to plan, i only have 2 more weekends at ye old home to go.
how stoked am i? imagine a monkey breaking into a banana plantation and just taking all the bananas for itself, and im talking really good bananas. i dont even like bananas, i dont know why i used that analogy..i guess i just like the word..bananas. its bananas. b-a-n-a-n-a-s-!
heres something interesting, i had leigh and brad in the same room as each other last night without bloodshed or even harsh words. talk about resolving past issues. not exactly sure how it went but brad was like, "this is weird, i dont even feel like hitting him, even though i know i should".
long story short, leigh fucked brads girlfriend way back and he like, caught them n stuff and they were all, your not my friend anymore n stuff. so thats kinda cool i guess.
i wanna go to big day out...that or bust into the tool concert. im pretty sure jono could get in in his yowie suit cos its in teh gardens and he looks like a shrubbery wearin it. and hes a ninja.
hmm, what else is cool...oh yeah, shonas dads 50th went off the other night! there was a band, and food, and i ate the hugest piece or crackling that ive ever had in my entire life! aand they let me sing led zeppelin. i even got some compliments...prolly the worst thing that coulda happened cos now i think i can actually sing well, not just loud. hehehah!
shona got way trashed and was convinced that her family has black banned her from christmas dinners cos shes always so polite around them. sooo funny!! we went running to the car and tried to jump shrubberies but she tripped and "her bourban all went". i laughed so hard i fell over, and what was funnier was that all her rellos were looking at us from inside the kitchen.
anyways, ima go cook a steak. (thats a piece of cow)

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Monday, October 9th, 2006
8:12 am
yaaa i was in a movie, yaaayyy! i was a kind of imagianary violin player who personified the emotions of a man who is without emotion, until i appeared and started hastling him in my musical imagianary way. it was rad! so much fun but suprisingly tiring. and the dog was really cute, and the soundtrack is really cool. jaydes boyfriend composed the whole thing and it sounds awesome. very addictive. now ive got glitter all over me and crazy hair and uhh, its purple now too. really dark purple. im diggin it haaard.
cant wait to see how the finished product turns out, cos then i get a copy and if jayde ever becomes a famous movie making person then it'll be my claim to fame, as well as a brilliant and talented artist type person. its all good.
i heard someone say today that studies have shown, people who were interested in dinosaurs when they were younger usually turn out to be really successful in life. hehahah! i used to be obsessed with dinosaurs until jurassic park came out then everyone wanted to be paleontologists, and then i realised just how much science was involved in it so i decided to be aimless for the next 10 years.

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Thursday, October 5th, 2006
12:11 pm
just decided that gwen steffani is the hottest chick on the planet(besides me)bwahAA! whatever.

exhibition, Ron Rado..didn't win anything. decided all potters and ceramics people can go fuck themselves. they always win.
is it just me, or is painting and sculpture just too different to compare? hmm, ones flat, canvas, and painted(most often). ceramics/sculpture on the other hand is a different breed. whereas potters probably have the abiltiy to paint as well as sculpt, us painty types can just paint. i woudlnt have a fuckin clue how to use a wheel or fire shit in the oven and keep that glazing shit well away.
*pouty voice* it's not FAAIIIRRR!!!

on the other hand, amelia's mum wants to buy some prints off me..yaaayyy!!!!
mum was lookin at a ceramics piece which was basically a small dinner set of bowls n crap done in red and green with a crackle glaze on a pedestool. she actually picked it up and stated "we sell crap like this for $29 in the shop! and they want $300!!?"
im all like, mum! it aint tupperwear, its art! you cant pick it up!
she cracks me up.

discovered a really cool new way to do etchings yesterday...electric engraving kit. ive already saved myself bout 3 weeks of etching by hand, which is good, cos term ends in 4. looks trippy as too, cant wait to print it.
jono informed me this morning that i can come to his uni and take over the art room next year, cos no one hardly uses it, and his teacher is cool and lets him do whatever the hell he wants. bonus. cant afford a printing press..yet. anyone got a spare one lyin around? gimme a buzz if ya doo.

still living at home. no word from real estate dudes yet. spewin.
neeeeedd to move out. im on a downward spiral to insanity.
johns still bein a prick, only just not on as an intense level. he had a bunch of tests done yesterday to try n find out whats wrong with him,and its not his heart or arteries, soo now he has to have lung tests n some other shit too. i say we just strap him down, dope him up and give him a cuntal labottomy. problem solved, everyones happy.

...duckbilled platypus? what the hell other kind of platypus are there? are there perhaps some rare breed goose beaked platypi?
what a stupid question.

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Saturday, September 30th, 2006
2:50 am
i hate the sounds that computers make. i just discovered a new one that is probably the worst one yet. its a hi pitched squeal type noise that youd think only dogs could hear. thing is that my dog is fast asleep and here i am cringing at this high pitched freaken computer squeal.
either im a dog, or just really perceptive to the point where its a curse.
hi shell!

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Thursday, September 28th, 2006
1:00 pm
right, thats it. john is officially a cunt..not that ive actually talked to him in at least 2 weeks and sure hes havin some health issues at the moment but i dont give a fuck cos hes being a cunt. ive finally got one of those stepfathers that is a cunt who you cant stand being around. im all angry and shit inside and feelin quite hostile.
i just got home from nyora and mum told me that her and john had a fight yesterday because of the table in the garage. you see, the other night i thought it would be cool to nail all the cool trivia questions printed on the back of beer bottle caps around the edge of the table. mum sed he sed that he thinks its disrespectful and went ape shit. however, the top of the table is completely covered in drawings that we've all done, quotes ramblings etc..all of which john also partook in and drew penises all over it. define hypocrit? yeah. im at the point right now where i fuckin hate him. cant stand to be around him. cant wait to move out. sooner the better. if we get this house we saw the other day, then we wont be able to move in till bout this time next month anyways if all goes to plan, so i just gotta figure out where im gonna hang out till then. fuckin hate being here man. not healthy.

current mood: pissed off hard core

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Monday, September 25th, 2006
4:48 pm
its different again isnt it?
so the plan is to move out of home in less than 2 months. the house i want is up for rent bout this time next month and i want it i want it i want it right now!!! i must live at a street address that is a multiple of 3!
going to inspect it tomorrow at 11. yeh.
im really fuckin cold and i made a new website. not quite finished yet but theres pictures anyways.
check it out..buy my art. make me rich damnit..or at least financially comfortable.
must to be going to artiscare tomorrow to get a 10by10. wouldve done it today but didnt realise i actually had money in my account. bit of a shock really.
ive barely been home in 2 weeks and im lovin it!gonna go stay at shonas this week after i see the neighbours nwe puppy tonight, yaayy! little black staffy pup, yaaaayy. i wanna call him scoffchops, but joana didnt like that name. chunda? neooo. i cant wait to have a real dog again. i miss rusty hardcore. 5 years later and hes still the coolest dog to have ever cocked his leg on this planet.
cold cold cold.
gonna have a bath and a wine.

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Monday, September 18th, 2006
11:48 pm
so here i am, drunk again, and all of the above. i wrote something way cool with pictures to illustrate but you shall never see unless you come and ask me in person.
sooo, the apricot chicken was quite delicious, and now i want more. more taters, more chicken,..more led zeppelin albums.
we all did portraits and they are good.

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1:04 am
i wish placebo were better. not that they were bad, but they just werent that great. there beer afterwards was though

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